I read this last night. The first stanza is good, but to me the closing lines began to sound "regular." But then the last line of the second stanza blows me away and I don't quite know why.

I had to revist it today. It haunts, and so it deserves a fave.

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Still, the whistle pig,
On Monday, bids adieu to his own kind.

Thank you, I knew I was treading in the inundated waters of 'gosh, you are sure pretty when you kiss me without all that clothing binding you down', but I could only just report the event as it happened in my mind. The last line of the second stanza was the one i debated over and many lines tried out for that part. In the end the winner made me happy I had written the other lines in front of it.

Thank you for the critique and the and thank you again for your time.

jfk

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please stop by sometime

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youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords

that one is even better then the last!
you my dear, have talent!

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*hugs*

Thank you again fo ra ll of your comments and thank you so much for the .

jfk

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please stop by sometime

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youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords

I love your romantic pieces. You have a special gift for it.

tyvm...all muse-induced I promise.

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youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords

No, dearest - it's all James-induced. I promise.

I know when to save the ammunition....this battle is lost.

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please stop by sometime

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youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords

I'm glad you see that. Thank you.