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Night Watch by ~frazzled-mage:iconfrazzled-mage:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Mature Romance > Open


At 10:02 PM I went to bed
-the bottom bunk
And you slipped in beside me.
Your hand pulling my left arm
Across your stomach
As you nestled back into me.
We lay braided together
My breath making wisps
Of your hair
Sway in time.

I awoke at 3:26 AM to find you watching
me sleep, your right hand
tracing the edge of my ear
and softly down my jawline
I didn't open my eyes but
Drifted back to sleep
Under your watchful supervision.
©2007-2009 ~frazzled-mage
:iconfrazzled-mage:

Author's Comments

While on my hunting trip, I unfortunately had no such real visitor, but she was their with me in spirit. ;)

jfk

Comments


love 1 1 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmarzguy:
*marzguy Dec 6, 2007, 9:49:43 PM
I read this last night. The first stanza is good, but to me the closing lines began to sound "regular." But then the last line of the second stanza blows me away and I don't quite know why.

I had to revist it today. It haunts, and so it deserves a fave.

--
Still, the whistle pig,
On Monday, bids adieu to his own kind.
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Dec 7, 2007, 5:02:36 AM
Thank you, I knew I was treading in the inundated waters of 'gosh, you are sure pretty when you kiss me without all that clothing binding you down', but I could only just report the event as it happened in my mind. The last line of the second stanza was the one i debated over and many lines tried out for that part. In the end the winner made me happy I had written the other lines in front of it.

Thank you for the critique and the :+fav: and thank you again for your time.

jfk

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconxxhugsxx:
Mood: Love ~xxhugsxx Dec 30, 2007, 1:46:21 PM
that one is even better then the last!
you my dear, have talent!

--
*hugs*
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Dec 30, 2007, 7:07:51 PM
Thank you again fo ra ll of your comments and thank you so much for the :+fav:.

jfk

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconblueskye27:
*Blueskye27 Apr 26, 2008, 7:57:36 AM
I love your romantic pieces. You have a special gift for it. :heart:
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Apr 26, 2008, 4:45:08 PM
tyvm...all muse-induced I promise.

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconblueskye27:
*Blueskye27 Apr 26, 2008, 5:03:40 PM
No, dearest - it's all James-induced. I promise.
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Apr 26, 2008, 6:46:28 PM
I know when to save the ammunition....this battle is lost.

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconblueskye27:
*Blueskye27 Apr 26, 2008, 6:51:42 PM
I'm glad you see that. Thank you.
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