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Did you see me today? by ~frazzled-mage:iconfrazzled-mage:

Categories Literature > Poetry > Romantic > Mature Romance > Open


Did you see me today?
Stamping my boots, clapping gloves
Breathing out frozen smoke

Did you see me today?
Miss-pump-miss-pump-miss-pump
Cuss-laugh-cuss-smile-cuss-mutter.

Did you see me today?
Four roosters in my right hand
One hot Winchester Model 12 Featherweight in the other.

Did you see me today?
laughing soul deep telling the tale taller each time
Over steaming potato and ham soup.

Did you see me today?
Because

I heard you
The swishing of the prairie grass
Against my brush pants.

I felt you
The sun warming
my wind-chapped cheeks.

I saw you
Soaring over me ever-watchful
Slipping the ties of gravity effortlessly riding the air.

You were here with me.
©2007-2009 ~frazzled-mage
:iconfrazzled-mage:

Author's Comments

As wonderful and magical as my trip with my father was, I found that there were other people I wish could have been there, and were in my heart and mind.

jfk

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconmarzguy:
*marzguy Dec 3, 2007, 9:16:20 PM
Oh S*%t.

This is GOOD.

--
Still, the whistle pig,
On Monday, bids adieu to his own kind.
:iconmarzguy:
*marzguy Dec 3, 2007, 9:17:22 PM
I'm sorry.

As a critique that's not very advanced.

--
Still, the whistle pig,
On Monday, bids adieu to his own kind.
:iconchattycat28:
~chattycat28 Dec 3, 2007, 9:35:37 PM
I like this a lot. one of the reasons I like it is, it is a love poem without mushy sentimentality but doesn't lack the emotion. It is a manly love poem, guns, dead birds, and...sigh. I would love to be a woman tucked away warm and snug knowing my man was out doing his tough guy man thing and thinking of me the whole time. that is sexy!!
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Dec 3, 2007, 10:52:15 PM
:blush: well it does have guns and dead animals...if i could have worked in trains and drinking and prison..... oh never mind it has probably been done already ;P.

First time I have had a sexy poem...better mark that down!

thank you for your comments.

jfk

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Dec 3, 2007, 10:55:06 PM
but you know what....I :love: it. That is so great and it made me laugh for quite a while. Ty and ty for the :+fav:'s. I feel like each one I get from each reader is an award. :winner:

Thanks again for the comments

jfk

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconsatah:
~Satah Dec 12, 2007, 6:34:21 PM
This is gorgeous. <33 I luuurve the sentiment in this, and I completely identify with it.

"I felt you/The sun warming/my wind-chapped cheeks." Simply beautiful.

I agree with Mark: this is GOOD. :B

--
Wowza! How awesomesupremo! That\'s just so ulticooliolicious!
:iconfrazzled-mage:
~frazzled-mage Dec 12, 2007, 7:55:10 PM
Thank you so much. I have been inspired as of late and that trip of mine gave me such clarity. :blush:

I apologize in advance for this...I have been a-mused lately. I couldn't help it. Puns are a sickness for which there is no cure.

Thank you for taking the time to comment on my poetry ot does mean so much :boogie:

james

--
please stop by sometime :gallery:

[link]

youarerighthereyouhavetakenthespaceoutofmywords
:iconchattycat28:
~chattycat28 Dec 12, 2007, 7:58:18 PM
that pun was sick and wrong on so many levels
:iconsatah:
~Satah Dec 12, 2007, 8:00:11 PM
Puns are, quite possibly, the best bad things in the world.

Ahh, thank-you for writing such amazing poetry~ :B

--
Wowza! How awesomesupremo! That\'s just so ulticooliolicious!
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